A Guide To Cleaning Hardwood Floors

by | Feb 21, 2023 | Housekeeping

Listen up you hooligans, I’m here to spill the tea on how to clean your fancy-schmancy hardwood floors and make ’em shine like a damn diamond in the rough. Ain’t no basic cleaning gonna cut it, you gotta bring out the big guns – product-appropriate cleaners, the right cleaning tools, and a few secret tricks that’ll blast away the dullness and bring back that bodacious luster.

And lemme tell ya, using the wrong techniques and products is like playing with fire – you’ll end up scratchin’ and damaging that finish quicker than you can say “Oops, my bad”. But fear not, if you follow my advice, you’ll be cleaning your hardwood floors with the grace of a ballerina and the safety of a sumo wrestler. So put down the mop and bucket, grab a cold one, and let’s get this party started!

 Importance of Cleaning Hardwood Floors at Home 

If you want your hardwood floors to look like they just crawled outta the pages of a fancy catalog, you better get scrubbin’! I mean, sure, you could just sit on your ass and let dirt, grime, and who-knows-what-else build up like a filthy condominium, but why settle for anything less than a spick-and-span hovel?

Cleaning those hardwood floors is like giving ’em a long overdue hug. It’s a way of sayin’, “Hey there buddy, I love you and I wanna keep you looking fresh.” And if you neglect ’em, well, let’s just say it’s like letting your pet rock go on a hunger strike. Scratches, scuffs, and general wear-and-tear’ll make your floors look like a beat up rental car.

But, with a little elbow grease, you can extend the life of your hardwood floors for years! Think of it as an investment, like takin’ care of your liver or something. Keep your floors clean and you’ll be able to enjoy their beauty for longer than you thought possible.

In conclusion, if you wanna keep your home lookin’ like a palace, you gotta take care of the floors. Don’t be a slob, clean those hardwood floors!

A Witty Guide to Spiffin’ Up Your Hardwood Floors

  1. Get yer lazy butt up and give your floor a good sweepin’, vacuumin’ or dry mopin’ to rid it of any dirt and grime.
  2. Grab a bucket, fill it up with some warm H20 and a pinch of mild dish soap. Don’t even think about using bleach, that’s just a big no-no!
  3. Dunk a mop in the bucket, wring it out like you’re wringin’ a chicken’s neck and start moppin’ like your life depends on it.
  4. Start in one corner of the room, work your way out, and make sure you overlap your sections so you don’t miss a spot.
  5. When you’re done with your moppin’ escapade, grab a clean cloth and dry off any excess moisture so your hardwood floor don’t get warped or discolored over time.


A Hilarious Guide to Scrubbin’ Down Your Hardwood Floors

Folks, routine cleaning is great, but sometimes your hardwood floor needs a little extra lovin’. Dirt, oil and grime can build up like a bad case of acne, and a weekly dustin’ just ain’t enough.

  1. For a deep-clean, grab a wood floor mop and a cleaning product made especially for wood floors. Dilute it according to the label, cause we don’t need no one makin’ a mess. Do this cleanin’ in the spring or before and after the holidays, when you’ve got a little extra time on your hands.
  2. Wet the Mop: Get a sponge or rag mop, soak it in water and wring it out until it’s slightly damp. You don’t want a soakin’ wet mop!
  3. Damp Mop and Rinse: Start moppin’, be careful not to leave any standing water on the floor. If the label says so, rinse the surface with a clean mop and clean water.
  4. Wipe Up Excess Liquid: Wipe up any excess liquid like it’s your last beer, cause standing water can damage your hardwood floor faster than a drunk uncle at a family gathering.
  5. Dry Floors: If it’s humid outside, turn on that ceiling fan or air-conditioner to speed up the drying process. No one likes a damp floor!

A Hilarious Guide to Cleaning, Maintaining & Protectin’ Your Hardwood Floors


  • Keep an eye out for any damage or scratches, like a hawk watchin’ over its prey. If you find some, call a professional to fix it.
  • Sweep your floor like you’re sweepin’ out the barn, keep the abrasive dirt from scratchin’ up the surface.
  • When you spill your beer, clean it up immediately like a mopping up a mess from a rowdy party.
  • Put some rugs or carpets over the windows to protect your floor from the sun’s harsh rays.
  • Use rubber protectors on the legs of your furniture, so they don’t leave marks like a bad tattoo.


  • Avoid hot and cold water like the plague, it’ll dull and warp your hardwood floor.
  • Don’t scrub it down with abrasive scrubbers, use soft cloths and sponges like you’re cleanin’ a baby’s bottom.
  • Say no to wax-based cleaners, they’ll leave a film that attracts dirt like a moth to a flame.
  • Take your spikes off at the door and carry ’em in, we don’t need any extra scratches.
  • Don’t let wet or damp items linger on the floor like a bad cold, it’ll cause damage.

With this guide, you’ll be able to clean and protect your hardwood floor like a pro. No more stress, no more mess!


Helpful Tips on How to Keep Hardwood Floors Looking their Best

G’day mate, let’s chat about keeping your hardwood floors looking as good as a cold beer on a hot summer day.

First off, get yourself a decent vacuum cleaner and use it regularly to suck up dirt, dust and all that other shite. Not only will it help keep your home looking tidy, but it’ll also improve the air quality and prevent sneezing fits and runny noses, so it’s a win-win situation.

When spills happen, grab a damp mop or cloth and start mopping that mess before it turns into a permanent stain. Trust me, if you clean up spills straight away, you’ll avoid potential tripping hazards and save your hardwood from potential damage.

And for the love of all that’s holy, stay away from harsh chemicals and cleaners on your hardwood. They’re not good for you, the floor, or your health. Stick to gentle, natural cleaners, and you’ll be able to enjoy a clean floor without any risk.

Once a month, give your floor a deep clean with a hardwood floor cleaner. It’ll ensure that your floors look good and your home stays healthy, as regular cleaning can prevent the buildup of germs and bacteria.

Finally, if you have any fur-babies, make sure you brush their fur regularly and trim their nails to prevent them from scratching your flooring. Regular grooming will not only protect your furniture but also lower stress levels for your pup, so it’s a no-brainer.

So, there you have it folks, a few tips on how to keep your hardwood floors looking as good as a kangaroo on a trampoline.

More Helpful Tips for Keeping Hardwood Floors Clean:

Ain’t nobody got time for lackluster hardwood floors! Here’s some mad tips to keep ’em gleamin’:

  1. Stick some mats and rugs at your doorstep to stop the dirt and crap from bein’ drug in.
  2. No need to bring in the heavy artillery, leave the vacuum with a beater bar or brushes at the door, they’ll only mess with your floors over time.
  3. Make sure your furniture is wearin’ protectors on their feet, so they don’t leave scratches or scars when they’re movin’ and groovin’
  4. Quick draw and grab a cloth or paper towel if you see spills, to avoid any long-term staining or discoloring.
  5. Give your hardwood a shot of polyurethane sealant once a year, and you’ll keep it lookin’ good for a long, long time!

And that’s all folks, with these tips you’re on your way to havin’ hardwood floors stunning.

Let us wow you with our phenomenal maid services, and relax while we take care of your home, all while knowing you are helping a wonderful cause.

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